#also this is late but i don't caaaare | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

six-of-ravens · 8 months ago

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aloha friends and people who left annoying incorrect opinions on my posts, raistlin is a waif he is the waifiest waif it doesn't matter if his twin is a brick shithouse you are WRONG I am kinda sorta back. maybe only for one tipsy night, but who knows. listen, I'm 1.5 ciders in and feeling Properly Tipsy as opposed to last night when I drank jack and cokes for the first time in a while and just felt nauseous, so I'm Thriving atm. ANYWAY.

i feel like i have cleared some cobwebs from my brain. kind of. mostly i redownloaded bc i have the irresistible urge to natter about my life. tbh i considered deleting tumblr for a while bc there are some things about this site (but also social media in general) that annoy the absolute shit out of me, and also i feel like I dedicated too much ~mental energy~ to this site in the past (not to sound like some new age crackpot) and I need to cut down on how much scrolling and getting mad about other people's incorrect opinions I do. However, there are a few beloved mutuals on here that I miss talking to and also tumblr is kinda Home, y'know?

anyway TLDR I'm back, kinda. might still delete the app during the day so I can focus on IRL shit instead of being a zillennial social media addict, so I apologize if I miss messages etc but. yeah. for the sake of my mental health I have to be better at self-policing. Also, no longer going to allow myself to use the For You tab, so sorry if I don't see your posts bc tumblr only served them there. I can't control it lmao. frankly the algorithm here just ain't good enough and I don't want to cry AGAIN bc a video of a naked woman jiggling her stomach with a caption about how much she hates herself and wants to lose weight came up on my feed. Frankly since this is tumblr I'm not sure if that's porn or self-harm, but either way, fuck off with that shit, man! I kinda hate my body too and I don't wanna see that!! I don't want that in my brain!! Hence why I quit and went to ig-only for a while. My IG is all pottery and miniatures and painting and European travel vlogs it's so PEACEFUL!

now onto the fun stuff, a list of things I consider interesting that happened in the past 3ish weeks:

have done a whole lot of reading lately: Homesick for Another World by Ottessa Moshfegh which is weird and off-putting by very worth reading, then a reread of the Unicorn series by Vicki Blum (always a delight) and finishing Princess Jellyfish (there's quite the plot twist in the last few books but overall it's a delightful series), then my hold for Please Kill Me: The Uncensored Oral History of Punk came up (extremely interesting and worthwhile read, especially after listening to the No Dogs in Space punk series, very sad ending though bc of course a lot of the punk musicians passed away young), and now I'm rereading The Mermaid's Secret and The Dragon Prince by Vicki Blum as a palate cleanser, and then hopefully I'll start the LoTR reread I've been meaning to do for a while. So yeah I read like 16 books in 3 weeks. this is the power of quitting social media.

Also I've kinda discovered that I'm just pretty... disenchanted with all book-fandoms online. it's just so...kinda annoying? nowadays? just the same old drama over and over and I don't caaaare lol. Read what you want, at whatever speed you want, idc, none of it matters. I read for funsies after work. Some people read 24/7 because being a book blogger is their career. Some people are 17 and still have the mental stamina to read a 500 page book in 2 days. Idgaf if you read Maas or Austen or Sanderson or whatever, there's no moral high ground (except maybe not giving Sanderson money bc WOW BYU is a shitty organization). Also I don't necessarily want other people's opinions on what I read or if a book I just bought has "mixed reviews" or whatever (unless the person is a mutual whose opinions I value lol). So I might start posting on the book blog again but just....not interact with booklr. Torn between the desire to communicate with others and the desire to keep my hobby all to myself and free from unnecessary judgement or bullshit.

Finally rearranged my bookshelves, by ~vibe or whatever~. Might post photos tomorrow but the living room is once again in a state of chaos since I started gardening today.

On that note, started my garden! planted some veggies, herbs, and a whole boatload of tomatoes in seedling trays (listen, MacKenzie seed were on sale 3/$5 today at the store and I'm weak for weird tomato variants and herbs. Still need to find rosemary and fennel though). Have more stuff to do, but I'm going to give the seedlings a couple weeks to get started and then maybe plant everything else Easter weekend. Last year was nice, garden-wise, but this year I really hope we don't get 30C weather in May. My allergies cannot handle it 😭

saw the Alien/Aliens double feature our cheap theatre put on and it was a DELIGHT

we also got a record snowstorm that weekend, which sucked bc it was the same week I'd had a random friday booked off (previously for traveling with my aunt, very glad that was cancelled now) so I basically did none of the other things I had planned.

also after said double feature, had to make my first 911 call. luckily I rot my brain with true crime All Day Every Day so I handled it like a pro 😤 (i am fine it was for another person, and uh, it turned out to not be so serious once the emergency people were able to get them to stop crying hysterically and realized this poor person was just intoxicated, underdressed for the weather, and a bit lost)

discovered the health foods store near my place has a bunch of funky herbal teas for like $5.50 a box so I've been going a little nuts there. I LOVE FENNEL TEA IT'S SO GOOD. ALSO LAVENDER MY BELOVED! they also have a bunch of local coffee blends, and I'm seriously considering getting a coffee bean grinder so I can try them

saw Lisa Frankenstein the week after the Alien double feature at that same theatre, it was fucking excellent I laughed my ass off, also at that theatre you can get your ticket and snacks and drink for the same price as a Cineplex ticket, it's excellent

finally watched Saltburn, which was great. love the Donna Tartt vibes. i watched it while somewhat drunk off Soju, which I think is how it's meant to be viewed.

also started a Ghibli rewatch, to justify not cancelling my Netflix just yet (I know I know, I should but I technically can afford it and it's my emotional support streamer you know? how else am I going to instantaneously watch Gilmore Girls on a bad day?) So far I have only watched Kiki's Delivery Service lol

Also, funny anecdote: last week I got my period and was VICIOUSLY craving alcohol. like I went to the store and bought the most bizarre range of random things (soju, honey jack, and mead...and then proceeded to drink them at my normal rate lmao). Realized afterwards this is a combination of my usual craving for sweet things + my very stressed coworker constantly joking about how we need to crack a bottle of something when this stressful project is finished. At the time however I thought my uterus was trying to make me an alcoholic.

Did my budgeting with my new rent and discovered that I'm actually fine, because I had DOUBLED A NUMBER SOMEHOW! and I basically had $150/month freed up. I'm so smart. I continue to procrastinate my income tax though (shhhh I have another month....)

Started writing a vague story about two women hiking to a portal to elfland, which is located near an abandoned train station. There are cultists called vampires living at said train station who are such a fucking delight to write (not real bloodsucking vampires tho, they are currently eating paella ��). It's fun and weird and I'm having a good time with it.

started listening to a podcast called No One Should Believe Me about cases involving Munchausens by Proxy, which is very interesting. the host has a sister with (alleged) MbP and genuinely wants to get her (and of course her kids) help, so it's actually a really good, compassionate take on an issue that's usually played for shock value. I have to listen to it slowly though bc it's Heavy

started knitting again! made 1 dishcloth and started a second. have decided I'm going to take these into work when I have a few done. If my boss won't buy us proper cloths then I'll pawn my knitting practice off on them lol

there is a lot of early road construction near my office since, aside from that random snowstorm, it's been a mild early spring. be glad you haven't had to listen to me rant about that lol

finally bucked up and got a duvet cover for my comforter that was lowkey falling apart at the seams. it's a good comforter aside from some light "my washer is evil" damage so I'm happy I can stuff it into a (less expensive) duvet cover instead of having to replace the whole thing

#hey hi hello #also goodbye and goodnight if my sober self decides to not redownload this app tomorrow #i will probably post less and interact less than usual and i apologize but you know how it is.#i feel SO MUCH BETTER when im just doing my irl stuff during the day and only on socials during certain times

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thirstyforbishiesimagines · 5 years ago

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I say Lawrence don't get enough love! So, could I request a tiny switch from a normal DF fanfiction? Instead of something common happening like Lawrence getting jealous of the other guys with the reader, could the READER be jealous? Maybe he's spending too much time working and is accidentally neglecting the MC? (Jealous cuz he's spending more time with work lol) Or maybe Scarlet trying to flirt with him just to piss the reader off cause she knows she likes him? Sorry if this is too much '^^

Orrr, how bout both?! 😉 Hahaha @ancientnile, Sorry this took so long to release! Hope this scenario is still in your interests! Enjoyyy~

Broken Promises - Lawrence x Reader

* image from LucyDreams, Dangerous Fellows

Word Count: 2,654

General / Fluff

Warning: Minor Profanity

Stretching your arms out above you, you relieve your body from the aches paining your stiff shoulders as you wait patiently upon a desk.

Finally… Lawrence should be done with his patrol now.

It had been a while since the last time you spoke with Lawrence and you had been waiting eagerly for the next available moment you’d be able to spend with him. Hopping down excitedly, you make your way towards the Principal’s office with an undeniable spring in your step. As you reach out towards the handle, the door suddenly swings open; causing you to jolt in response.

Standing before you is the tall, chestnut haired male staring down at your flustered expression. His smile was as charming as always, but underneath you could tell that he was quite amused at your reaction to his presence. You feel your blood rising to the surface of your cheeks as your met with your crush’s unwavering attention.

“Evening (Y/N), I was just about to head out.”

“Oh! Am I late?”

I’m sure I didn’t get the time wrong…

Lawrence raises an eyebrow in confusion and an awkward silence lingers before he finally recalled his prior arrangements with you.

“Ah right… I’m sorry (Y/N), something came up. Another time?”

Again?

“Oh…” Was all you were able to manage as your excitement dissipates; unable to hide the clear disappointment of being turned down once more.

Noticing your change in demeanour, Lawrence reaches out toward you. Your (e/c) eyes flutter to a close, anticipating the gentle warmth of his thumb caressing your cool skin as he cups your cheek – a habit of his you came to notice, occurring only when he was struck with guilt. Unfortunately, before you were able to indulge in his touch, a high-pitched voice sings out through the hallway.

“Laaawreeence~”

Your eyes snap open to witness Scarlett sauntering over towards the both of you as Lawrence regretfully withdraws his hand back.

“Looks like I must leave now.” Closing the door behind him, he steps past you while simultaneously sliding his jacket on.

Your heart drops.

“But… you promised you’d definitely be free by 6pm today…”

You had been looking forward to this day since he first suggested that you required basic training in first aid. He offered to personally teach you and obviously, you agreed. Although, you were mainly ecstatic about simply having the chance to spend some quality time with the man you had fallen in love with.

A laugh rings out from your side, “Yeah, free for me,” Scarlett scoffs proudly. “Shall we head off now, Lawrence?”

He nods toward the smug blonde before turning back to you, “Sorry, we’ll talk soon okay?”

Without a chance to respond, he strides off; patting your head apologetically on his way out and leaving you by the doorway. Alone, and feeling somewhat… betrayed.

You promised…

‘Soon’, wasn’t soon enough.

Day after day, there never seemed to be a chance to speak with Lawrence alone as he was often engaging in deep conversations with the others or rushing off to his next task. You knew that having the role of a leader was a strenuous and demanding responsibility, but at this point, it all seemed ridiculous.

Just how busy could he be, that I can’t even get ONE minute alone with him?!

As if right on cue, your attention is then caught by a tall, dark silhouette passing the window of your classroom door; the fur hood of his jacket giving away his identity.

Speak of the devil.

Rushing to slide the door open, you chase him down.

“Lawrence!” You call out; panting as you struggle to keep up with his fast strides.

Seemingly aware of your presence, he doesn’t turn back; instead, continuing to walk but noticeably slowing his pace for you.

“Sorry (Y/N), not right now. I need to meet with Scarlett.”

Your steps come to a halt for a moment before continuing after him. Hearing her name in the gorgeous tones of his voice began to make your blood boil. The one person who caused you constant stress and grief… Out of all people, why her?

How was she able to easily have him to herself at any given moment, yet I literally have to chase after him for a few seconds of his time?

It was all starting to seem oddly suspicious and unfair, leading you to come up with only one possible conclusion as to why everyone else was able to spend time with him… except you.

Reaching out to grab the end of his sleeve, he turns around in curiosity; finally stopping in his tracks.

“Are you… avoiding me?”

Your voice was weak, and your fingers trembled as it grips his jacket, not wanting to let him go. You didn’t know how or for what reason as to why he’d feel the need to, but his constant rejection began to make you feel self-conscious and vulnerable – unwanted.

Did I do something? Did he find me annoying?

I thought… I thought there might have been some kind of ‘spark’ between us…

Was I mistaken? Have I been reading him wrong all this time?

A tender squeeze envelops your quivering hand, “Trust me, (Y/N). Things really have been very busy as of late.”

You eye him questionably, not wanting to fall prey to his excuses yet again. He chuckles lightly at your hesitation, reaching out to grab the ends of your hair and twirling them around his fingers nonchalantly before letting go and smiling warmly – a subtle hint of playfulness dancing within his irises.

“I promise, this time I truly will make some time for you.”

“You said that last time…” You grumble under your breath, the growing amount of broken promises leaving him with a bad track record.

Finding amusement in your sulking manner, his mouth curls up into a sly smirk before bringing your hand up towards his lips and kissing your knuckles delicately.

“This time for sure, cross my heart.”

Face flushing crimson, your eyebrows furrow as you fight against giving in to his charms. His hand then raises toward your face, cupping your cheek as he caresses your skin; the gesture, all too familiar to you.

…He feels guilty.

Expression softening, you sigh in defeat; deciding to place your trust in him once more.

Argh! I’m going to regret this…

“Fine.”

Pleased with your reply, his gaze remains on you a little while longer; his caresses now slow and full of love. It was moments like these that made you question his true feelings for you.

When you do things like this… what exactly am I meant to think, Lawrence?

…What am I to you?

He then leans in and your breath hitches as you realise the closeness of his lips to yours. He pauses for a moment before moving to the side of your face. His breath hot against your skin as he whispers enticingly into your ear, “Until then…”

Paralysed with shock from his sudden forwardness; you simply watch as he heads off, leaving you behind as a complete and utter mess.

Time no longer seemed to consume you as you await the moment you would finally be able to spend with Lawrence, the tone in his parting words keeping your heart aflutter.

Burying your reddened face within your palms, you hide your giddy grin from the others scattered around you – all waiting for Lawrence to arrive for tonight’s meeting. Your little moment of glee ends as soon as it began and a sickeningly sweet scent of perfume wafts toward you, overwhelming your sense of smell. Lamenting internally, you slowly lift your head up and unsurprisingly see Scarlett sitting before you. Smoothing down and fiddling with the ends of her perfectly waved hair, she sighs dramatically.

“(Y/N), what should I do? Do you think that Lawrence has a thing for me?!” She smiles deviously, obviously trying to get a rise out of you.

“Why are you asking me? Go and ask him yourself.” Not wanting to waste your time on her petty games, you stand; hoping to escape and sit elsewhere.

Grabbing both your shoulders, she pushes you back down onto your seat forcefully; overlooking your irritated glare. “Well… you guys are pretty close you know, as friends. So, I thought that maybe he would’ve said something, since like… friends usually talk about things like this to each other.”

I swear… If she emphasises “friend” one more time!

“Oh wait! That’s right, what am I thinking? You haven’t had much time to talk lately, since he was choosing to spend that time alone with me.” She taunts arrogantly.

You know that she was trying to rile you up, to make you crumble. You know that, but… she wasn’t exactly lying either. He had been incessantly turning you down, while also making time for Scarlett instead. Staying silent, you simply try to ignore her; hoping she was now satisfied enough to leave you be.

She wasn’t.

“I mean… I’m honoured but, he knows I’m loyal to-”

“No one caaaares.” The aggravated voice of a certain crimson-haired male interrupts her.

Scarlett turns toward him, thrilled to have caught his attention. “No need to be jealous Zion, I’d never betray you.”

Zion groans in annoyance, clearly exhausted from her unshakeable clingy nature.

Turning back to face you, she leans in close; eyes narrowing into slits of malice. “Anyways, you shouldn’t get your sad little hopes up, since he mentioned that you guys were only friends.”

That’s it.

You rose from your seat, anger seething through your veins. You weren’t sure what you were going to do exactly, but all you knew was that you needed to wipe that conniving grin off her pretty little face.

“What’s going on here?”

Lawrence’s voice interjects, halting you. You stare down at Scarlett; praying that she’d drop the subject and stay quiet.

“Oh Lawrence! Perfect timing! Didn’t you tell me yesterday that (Y/N) was just a friend to you?” Scarlett beams, feeling triumphant.

Turning to face him, you observe Lawrence standing by the doorway, his body language evident with hesitation. His prolonged silence only seemed to confirm Scarlett’s words. Overcome with disappointment, you rush out of the room; disregarding Lawrence’s calls for you to wait.

Sighing heavily, Lawrence tries to go after you; however, a firm hold clings onto his arm.

“Forget about her Lawrence, you can do so much better than that dumb whore. Maybe now, she’ll finally leave the school for good.”

Lawrence’s face darkens, eyes burning with an intense hatred as he glares down dangerously at the blonde.

“Don’t flatter yourself.”

Scarlett’s grasp loosens immediately before staggering back in fear; never having witnessed such a murderous aura emanating from the supposed gentle leader.

Without another word, Lawrence hurries out the door – finally catching up to you at the end of the hallway.

“Wait!”

The scene gives you a sense of déjà vu as Lawrence chases after you. You then quicken your pace, “I’m tired of waiting Lawrence…”

Looks like the tables have turned. Doesn’t feel too great does it, Lawrence?

“Just… Hear me out first.”

“Why?! So you can make up some more excuses as to why you keep blowing me off… for her?!”

Seeing that you had no intentions of stopping, Lawrence grabs hold of your hand and pulls you toward him; wrapping his arms around your waist and securely pinning your body against his.

“It’s not like that. Seeing her was just another part of my job. It was all work, trust me.”

“Right, ‘work’ that required you guys to be alone together constantly. Okay, sure.” You roll your eyes sarcastically, trying your hardest to free yourself from his firm embrace.

“We weren’t alone. Ethan had been assisting me with teaching her combat.”

“But she said-”

“You really trust her words, over mine?”

“I don’t know who to trust anymore Lawrence, you haven’t exactly lived up to your promises.”

He exhales deeply as his eyebrows furrow; clearly hurt from allowing your beliefs in him to deteriorate this far.

“Look, in all honesty, she’s completely useless… I thought maybe teaching her basic combat would at least add some worth to her. That’s it.”

Okay, ouch. Never thought there’d come a day when I’d feel even a tiny bit of pity for Scarlett.

Staring directly into his eyes, you searched for any indication of dishonesty; finding nothing but the warmth and affection that he displayed through his honey-coloured irises. It was the look you had so much faith in, the look that made you feel as if you had a chance in the first place.

But there was still one other thing that bothered you.

“Then what was all that nonsense about back there? You told her we were just ‘friends’?”

Completely expressionless, he slowly raises an eyebrow, “But… aren’t we?”

Not knowing how else to respond, your head drops; shaking it slowly in regret.

Why did I even bother? I’m such an idiot… Of course we were.

It’s just, hearing him say it so indifferently was… heartbreaking.

Unwilling to inflict yourself with any more disappointment and heartache; you attempt to leave once more, but his locked arms keep you in place.

Confused and frustrated, you look back up at him. “Why exactly did you come after me Lawrence?”

“To explain myself, and… to put an end to this friendship of ours.” His tone was downright serious, causing your heart to sink into the pit of your stomach.

Not expecting such cruel intentions behind his pursuit, you begin to stutter from shock. “W-what?”

Releasing his firm hold on you; his hand reaches up to lovingly tuck away the loose strands of hair that had fallen toward your face, the other staying intimately wrapped around your waist.

“Whatever this is, I want to end it…” He pauses for a little while before breaking his façade with a mischievous smirk, “and start a relationship that’s a little more… interesting.”

Blushing profusely, you stand frozen in silence. Your mind, scrambling to comprehend Lawrence’s low, seductive voice as he confesses his desires.

“I’m sorry for keeping you waiting, and for causing you to feel jealous.”

“I wasn’t jealous!” You retaliate peevishly.

He says nothing. His knowing smile being enough proof for you to abandon your pride and admit that his words had struck a nerve in you.

“Okay fine… Maybe I was a little jealous.” You pout grumpily in defeat.

He laughs softly at your adorable form before lightly guiding your chin upwards. “I’m glad… Because now I know, that I can finally do this.”

Leaning forward, he places a gentle kiss upon you. The sweet moment was everything you had hoped for and more. Melting into his touch, you begin to feel lightheaded and weak to your knees. However, not wanting to let him off so easy, you pull away reluctantly – deciding to set a promise he’d be foolish to even consider breaking.

“From now on, whenever you’re too busy with work, you owe me at least two kisses for keeping me waiting!”

Eyes wide with disbelief, he chuckles at your surprisingly innocent bargain. “That doesn’t seem like much of a punishment…”

“It wasn’t meant to be.” You giggle light-heartedly.

“Well then… as a reward for being so patient…” Lawrence presses you against the wall vehemently, allowing you to feel the contours of his lean, yet toned body.

“Just know, that this is what will be waiting for you when I’m done.”

He then crashes his lips onto yours passionately, full of longing and desire. Deepening the kiss, you wrap your arms around his neck hurriedly. His hands come up to tangle within your silky (h/c) tresses; the skilful movements of his tongue intoxicating your senses as you sigh into him with content.

The idea of waiting didn’t seem all too bad for you anymore. In fact, you might even prefer it.

For good things come, to those who wait.

x mod luna

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